Stuck In A Loop


November 14th, 2017Posted by Brian

Stuck in A Loop

Have you ever been stuck in a loop? Like, doing the same things every day? That's how I feel right now. 

I wake up. I think too much about faith and life. I chill for an hour and a half before I have to go to work. I think some more. I go to work. I fry chicken tenders. I make fries. I THINK. I go home. I play Madden. I (you guessed it) think. I chill. I go to bed. I wake up. I think...

You get the drift. My days are so repetitive. I mean, sometimes I change it up by taking the bus to/from work. But other than that, my days are all the same. I think too much, I work, and I just hang out.

I know I need to change something. I was going to add "but I don't know how," but that doesn't seem accurate. I do know what to do. There are three main branches of my life that I need to work on.

First off, I need to find a different job. Believe me, I love the people I work with. I don't even mind the work that I do. But I'm kind of over working in food service. There's a reason I went to college for four years. I don't think it was so I could make chicken every day.

However, I still work at a college, so I have access to their career planning center. I should go talk to them. They could help me work on the job hunting stuff. 

That's just the job side of the equation, though. I also need to work on the spiritual side. 

I haven't gone to church for a looooong time. Like, over a year. I don't even have a church. The last one I went to was pretty solid, but I don't know if I want to go there permanently. If I'm not going to go there though, I need to find another one. It shouldn't be "this one church" or "no church."

Finding a church could help me with some of my problems. But I don't think it would be enough - not because God isn't big enough, but because the problems I deal with persist even when I go to church.

That leads me to the last part...the mental side. I will be honest: I should probably see a therapist. I overthink. A lot. Like, all the time. 

I'm also a really anxious person, which is fun. I enjoy freaking out when conditions around me aren't ideal. It just makes me so happy (you note the sarcasm, right?). 

I know I need to trust God with these problems, but sometimes that isn't easy. It could help me to talk to someone about what goes on in my head. 

Somehow, I need to get out of the loop I'm in. It can't be good for me to spend every day doing the same things and thinking the same thoughts. It's just so hard to get out. I know what I have to do. I just have to do it.

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